Back in January I set off on an “Eat, Pray, Love, Laugh” girls trip to Bali. During that January Wolf Full Moon, I had a profound experience that signaled what was to come. 🐺
We had arranged for a private Full Moon Purification ceremony at a local temple, and synchronicities seemed to be unfolding everywhere. ✨️
My intention for the ceremony was clear: to prepare myself for motherhood. 🤰
In this traditional Balinese ritual, the balance of masculine and feminine energies plays a pivotal role—a reflection of the work I’ve been doing for the past decade to prepare for this phase of my life. The setting was surreal: an old temple lit by moonlight, surrounded by lush jungle, with water flowing from the mountain into two pools—one representing the feminine, the other the masculine. Guided by the local priest, we were instructed to hold our intention close and first surrender into the feminine pool, releasing all that no longer serves us. Let go. Allow the feminine to hold us, receive us. Then, move into the masculine pool to fully open and embrace the energy of receiving.
Prayers were whispered, offerings made, chants echoed through the air, while fragrant incense swirled around us. 🌬
The experience felt amplified, electric, alive—and heavy with release. As I transitioned into the masculine water pool, I felt an incredible lightness, a sense of being freed. ❤️ And then, as darkness fell, I heard a clear message, as if the skies opened and a beam of light shot down: “Mama, I’m coming.” ✨️🌌 Tears poured down my face, as tingles coursed through my body.
It was so profound—my sweet baby’s soul was announcing its arrival. In that moment, I knew with every fiber of my being: this would happen soon.
I couldn’t wait to return! But shortly after landing, my bag was stolen, filled with sentimental and practical valuables. The process was underway: Are you really ready to let go—to fully release the old you and step into the new life you desire?
It was a challenging emotional month, coming back from the trip of a lifetime in Bali. On so many levels, I felt floored—by the robbery, family health concerns, conflicts, and a few other challenges that made the period from February to March one of the most emotionally taxing in a long time.
Yet, I held onto what I knew. That message, and the upcoming Spring Equinox with its transformative energy, kept me grounded: “Mama, I’m coming.”
I had forgotten that, a few years ago, I received the inspiration to create a series of initiation ceremonies into the feminine archetypes and write about them. Along with this inspiration came a message from my guides: “When you bring this teaching into the world, you will become a mother.” I shelved the message, postponing the program for years, and carried on with life.
But then it was time. I launched The Alchemy of The Divine Feminine—the body of work I was meant to share—and it was profoundly transformative. I had forgotten my guides’ earlier message, though.
The final ceremony on Sacred Inner Union took place just weeks before the Spring Equinox, when my fertility was set to peak. I couldn’t make this up.
So, with great joy and pure intentions, Ollie and I called in our baby’s soul during the Spring Equinox, performing a conscious conception ceremony. We both felt an energy unlike anything we had experienced before. Something was undeniably different.
That night, I sat in my bedroom armchair, journaling, and the words came effortlessly—as though I was receiving a message from my guides: “By the end of the year, you’ll be sitting in this very same spot, breastfeeding your baby. Trust the process.”
The next night, I had a vivid dream—I was pregnant and being asked to go on a rollercoaster. I remember trying to explain, “I can’t, because I’m pregnant.” I didn’t consciously know it yet, but something deep within me did.
Life continued for a couple of weeks, and I let the dream fade into the background. Then, another dream came—so vivid, so certain—that I knew I had to take a test. On a sunny April morning, I went to the pharmacy. On my way I stopped by the bakery to pick up some stuff for breakfast—a ritual that I love—yet the thought of croissants or even sourdough toast was making me gag and I was trying to hold myself from being sick. I knew instantly.
In April 2023, last year, I wrote again in my journal during a channeling from my guides: “Know that by the 13th new moon next year, you will wake up one morning with sickness and life will be growing in your womb.”
And so it was.
A journey of intention, surrender, trust and a sparkle of luck and baby dust.
And just as I received the vision at the Spring Equinox and wrote it down, of me sitting in my armchair breastfeeding, here we are, at the Winter Solstice, in the same armchair, just as foretold, feeding my sweet little baby boy.
Trust the process. Life is magical.
